On The Wings Of A Poppadom!

Pin It Now! Lunch hour is so much fun. And it’s specially so because I can enjoy the sheer agony of dear friend of mine. (Slurp!) The poor dieter is now paying his comeuppance for all the vile plotting he’d indulged in, in the not too distant past.

Back then, he used to drag the rest of us friends and colleagues, fretting and fuming, often sacrificing our lunch boxes, to greasy joints that served the most sinful biriyanis and parattas and burgers with piles of cheese and dollops of mayonnaise even!

In the process our gent gained weight where he shouldn’t, along with the rest of us. The belles were no longer giving him a second look or so one should assume because then he went about dragging his angel of a wife over to a gym where he paid 34,000 to get his flab off!

And did he? We thought he did about a month ago. I even complemented him by calling him Slim Jim. But true to my impulsive self, I’d said things too soon. The Slim Jim persona that our dieter friend had taken on to deceive his poor wife and maybe the gym instructor too was a well-planned farce. He fell ill! No…that’s not it. How do you say it? Words fail me now. It must be the magnitude of the deception. It went like this.

He took himself willingly to a Chinese flea restaurant, ordered himself a spread and promptly came home ill. Here I actually feel for him. The gent was indeed ill. So ill that his concerned brother had to remind him gently that the upper body orifice empties into the washbowl and the lower into the potty! Endless trips over the next two days between the washbowl and the potty left our gent a few kilos less. And one fine day he came to office looking all trim, fit and glowing too!

He ate only carrots for a week. And just when a Hollywood production house that had got wind of a potential replacement for the tired Buggs Bunny, were doing a background search, our dieter was spotted by one of the production house’s spies digging into a juicy double decker burger! And another the next day!

Guilt gnawed at our dieter again and he went into a rehabilitation diet. But again I suspect it’s all a farce because the waistline is pushing the shores! Now I didn’t say that. The gent himself did. So he furiously plays table tennis with a paddle he over paid for. And when he falls for our vile persuasion and accompanies us for lunch he sips soup or nibbles on poppadom!

Hoo! (That was a verbal cartwheel!) Isn’t someone’s waistline phobia blissful lunchtime amusement? That reminds me, it’s about lunchtime. About time I played the Lucifer again! Bless me! But then I’ve been trained by the Devil himself!
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2 comments:

. said...

Ah. I am the "gent" being referred to in this blog. At the outset a couple of factual errors i'd like to correct.

1-where he paid 34,000 to get his flab off! - I paid a lot less than 34k at the gym .Keep wonderin what i really paid...HA!

2."The belles were no longer giving him a second look " - Ha to that again i do get the odd second look every now and then.Albeit from women who look like Venus williams! No offence meant
Venus you still are the world champ after all!

3.He took himself willingly to a Chinese flea restaurant - It was an "Ahem" if you please upmarket Chinese cuisine restaurant. that i fell sick is another matter!

The power of suggestion - the author and his fellow cohorts wanted to eat out everyday!and by ordering tasteless food from the usual office catering service thought the urge would go away. I merely suggested alternatives that they gladly exercised!

Accompanying these lads to lunch nowdays and then by nibbling on a poppadom while these guys wallop plates of beef and rice (Phew!)helps increase my resistance levels..

I just need to beat the 1 clock pangs that i get,which btw is exploited to the hilt by the author and his new motely crue of foodies!

herez to slim jim and his resistance!

Instinctive Traveller said...

Venus Williams types, ugh? They must be sizing you up for lunch. (I've heard whispers about this cannibal club...) See, we have this social obligation to fatten you up for your new found fans. And if you've paid a lot less than 34,000, it wouldn't really matter, would it? : )