Bachelors Raise Hands!

Pin It Now! Ashmika fretted. Anita fumed. And their respective rogue husbands relived their bachelor days in shameless nonchalance. Now if you think this is a one off thing, you must be from Planet Daft. It’s been happening ever since these poor damsels fell for the evil enticements of their respective gents and sacrificed themselves at the alter of matrimony.

One of this wicked twosome, is the quintessential ‘sweetheart’ oozing dollops of innocence and charm. All sugar and spice… that you could almost picture a manservant walking in his shadow shooing the flies away. He patronises stores with a higher female staff ratio, ostensibly for economic gain or so one is to believe. But this gent knows which side of his toast is buttered. So what if he makes an occasional innocent pass? So what if Anita fumes? Isn’t he renting DVDs from a respectable store, paying next to nothing (considering that he’s managed a lifetime waiver on Horribly-Late-Fees, a category that didn’t exist in their ledgers ever before)?

“Oh yes!” The other gent would eagerly admit his vigorous support for gent one. Birds of a feather! Now, gent number two is a different salad altogether. My! Talk about salad! Even the dressing (read: the pretext of situations he eases himself into) is all gooey innocence. See a pattern here that you can borrow for your own escapades? Gent two still lives his excruciating post bachelor blues. For instance, he has always introduced his sweet wife as his friend. “Always, without fail” Ashmika will tell you. Blame it on selective amnesia in the presence of the fairer sex. Poor man. How he suffers!

Once gent number two was at this party laced with liberal amounts of braggadocio and the whiskey that accompanies it. He was in his element. At his shining charming, laugh-aloud best. Some time into the wining and dining, someone asked for all bachelors to raise their hands. “That’s me!” said gent number two to himself and quickly raised his hand. Looking around surreptitiously, it was apparent to him that he was the only ‘bachelor’ at the table. “Oh Yeh!” he blushed…

But wait! Ugh! Wasn’t that angelic face opposite him familiar? He remembered driving her to the party. He even remembered seeing her around the house! Ugh! No, he was dreaming. He was being visited by a past life experience. Whiskey sometimes does that to you. But what was all that sniggering and giggling around the table? And why was ‘angel face’ looking daggers at him? No! It can’t be true!

This isn’t fair, he said to himself as realisation slowly dawned. He was in all probability married! He hazarded a quick look at ‘angel face’. “Mummy! That’s her! My wife! I’m married!” Could it be that he was... err... hallucinating? Didn’t whiskey do that to you?
Pin It Now!


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Arvind said...

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