Flying Cow!

Pin It Now! A little bird’s in the sky,
You look up
And it shits in your eye.
You don’t mind.
And you don’t cry.
You thank the good Lord
That cows can’t fly!


If I could strum the guitar halfway decent, I’d have done a ‘Eurythmics’ and put this crack rhyme to score. “Positive thinkin’ is made of this…” I mean, I do remember that I was this rather positive chap who saw the brighter side of things come rain or strain. I was moody all right. But positive nevertheless. And then there was this person whom I had to room with in junior college.

He was this absolutely grouchy and obnoxious loud mouth who found untold pleasure in the misery of others (mine included). He was positively obnoxious, pompous and sly to the core. How sweet of him! Please don’t get the idea here that this is a goody two shoes tale. I lived it. And I’m not a goody two shoes. I was his only friend though. Mon dieu! I must have been this really positive chap then!

Why am I even writing this? I guess it’s to say that my dark, sarcastic other half was awoken by this friendship that went beyond junior college for a couple more years. In that time, he taught me to doubt everything, to take everything with a pinch of salt. He also taught me to read between the lines. There was no given. He was always assigning motives to everything my friends did and nothing ever impressed him enough to talk good or even favourably about it. Now, that’s as dark as dark can be, ain’t it?

If you took him to a restaurant, he'd order by price, going for the dishes that cost the most. And when the bill came he’d ask out loud if you had enough to pay up, with a malicious glint in his eyes! Why would someone do that? He never wanted anything good to happen to you and I've never figured out why. Was he one of the Lord’s afterthoughts? I’ll never know. But I do know that every now and then I do run into such people. Which tells me that they aren't a rare species as I'd thought. ‘They also serve, who only stand and fart’ so goes the current social rhyme I suppose. But where's the reason?

You don’t mind.
And you don’t cry.
You thank the good Lord
That cows can’t fly!

Amen! Pin It Now!